No, really.  Today's my birthday.

Anyway, remember in The Lord of the Rings how whenever a hobbit had a birthday it was the custom for them to give presents to others instead of being given presents?  No, I'm not going shopping for all of you today.  However, in a similar spirit I do present this bit of translating NASCAR-speak for one and all.

First, the official press release from NASCAR:

NASCAR issued a technical bulletin Tuesday amending the NASCAR Nationwide Series Rule Book. Effective as of July 23, 2008, section 20A - 5.10.4 is amended as follows:

"At all Events, unless otherwise specified, all engines with a cylinder bore spacing less than 4.470 inches must compete using a tapered spacer with four (4) 1.125-inch diameter holes. At all Events, unless otherwise specified, all engines with a cylinder bore spacing of 4.470 inches or more must compete using a tapered spacer with four (4) 1.100-inch diameter holes. Unless otherwise authorized, the carburetor restrictor will be issued by NASCAR."

"Eventually, all teams that upgrade to new engine packages will be subject to this rule modification," said Robin Pemberton, NASCAR vice president of competition. "Over the years in our sport, we've taken steps on numerous occasions to help maintain a level playing field among our competitors and we will continue to do so."

Now, the translation:

"Okay, Ford and Chevy and Dodge.  We've listened to you whine about how the Toyotas are cleaning your clock week after week because they're generating a lot more horsepower than you.  Fine.  We're slapping different sized restrictor plates on all of you.  Now you all make the same horsepower.  So stop complaining already!"

Tune in this weekend at Indianapolis Raceway Park to see if it makes any difference.  Probably not there, since it's an action (i.e. short) track, but at the cookie cutters we should see something possibly resembling better racing.

Back to my birthday party.  And since I'm not a hobbit, feel free to shower me with presents.  Especially if you're Jeff Gordon.  A win this coming Sunday at the Brickyard would be just perfect, thanks!